I've also got all my travel booked. Glasgow to Berlin, Berlin to Halle. Probably with many tears in my eyes. Then a few days later, Halle to Cologne to stay in a lovely hotel for the night with Emma before our induction week in the countryside! I can see these being the first of many adventures with Deutsche Bahn... time to buy a BahnCard, maybe!
I'm starting to feel totally ready to go now. I've been working a lot the past few weeks, and every time it gets me down, I remember that my last shift there is in just over a fortnight and my flight to Germany and a new life there is just over a month away! I've no doubt I'll be hiding in the toilets at Glasgow Airport the morning I leave, soggy faced and puffy eyed, terrified of stepping on the plane. And then when I do manage to compose myself, losing it again when the plane takes off. The amount of responsibility and independence I'll have over there is going to be very new to a girl who still lives with her parents. I can't quite believe they're going to let me teach kids. It's daunting. But it's incredibly exciting too.
I don't know anyone in Halle, besides people I've skyped on my flathunt who offered to take me out for drinks when I arrive (!) and my mentor teacher. I haven't met any of them face to face, so naturally I'm quite anxious that I'll arrive, nobody will like me, and it'll be a lonely year. But I've been better recently at telling myself I'm actually ok. I've been standing up for myself more, not wasting time on people who make me feel bad, and remembering how I felt about starting uni and making friends there. My friends are fabulous so I must be doing well, and there's no reason the same shouldn't happen in Germany! This might be a clean sheet, but I'll always be some version of Lauren. And maybe that'll work out just fine.
I'm ready for something new. I love Glasgow and I'll miss it, but I've lived here my whole life and I want to go exploring. I'm 20. There's nothing to keep me here for now. What could be more new than moving to a city I've never even visited before? And if I do get a bit lonely, my friends will only be a train ride away, going through the same stuff. I think we're all going to do great.
